Big Hands, Drugged Jello & Cigar Smoke

OLB PPPimp

Red

          Jello

                    Mello

                                 Yellow

                      Enjoy

          Subdue

Erase

          Every

                    Trace

                             Green

                                      Jello 

                                              In

                                                   The

                                                          Face

Red

          Jello

                    Mello

                                 Yellow

                      Enjoy                  Jello 

                                              

Blindfold Off

Maybe it was week 2 or it could have been the 4th week is when the blindfold came off.  Right after my 3rd forced swallow although by this point it was done freely.  When there is nothing to make of an enemy, no physical form for the mind to wrap around there is no enemy.

Hypnotized man smoke coming from his mouth and glowing tranced blank eyes turn into a spiral throughout procession by OLB PPPimp

Hypnotic Squinting Eternity

Felt like eternity went by as I struggled to focus my eyes.  Squinting to see anything because this time was different in that the whole room was lit up.  Not just a fragment of light beaming from the corner of never ending darkness in which had become home.  In the middle of last feeding in my shock and without the seal of a big hand jello ran down chin.

Hypnotically Steal My Memories

It puddled under my chin in a pool on the soft area above the clavicle.  Cold.  Only thing on my skin aside from….

The big hand wiped it away with a rag.  As if to steal away the memory that was forming in congruence with my eyes connecting to brain what they barely saw.  It was blurry and although room was lit the light was dim still blinding optical system paralyzed.  

Wiggling and Frightened only lasted minutes before the jello started kicking in.  The first notion that it was special.  Fleeting fast I tried to hold onto that small speckle of information.  Impossible as the warm hands left the body.  Info spiraled away into darkest part of me making a very scared alone feeling emerge.

Small Speckle of Information

Wiggling and Frightened only lasted minutes before the jello started kicking in.  The first notion that it was special.  Fleeting fast I tried to hold onto that small speckle of information.  Impossible as the warm hands left the body.  Info spiraled away into darkest part of me making a very scared alone feeling emerge.

Awful feeling started to grow which brought on an injection of fear.  Adrenaline pumped from the apex of my kidneys with such force that funny drugged feeling was pushed off. 

Intoxicated Jello

Memories flooded back from a recent childhood, 16 candles being blown out In the background of  past memory around the edges a big figure unwrapped, cut and placed cigar into grinning, plump lips.  Sound of leather creaking with every move into pocket for lighter  with all my willpower my attention would not budge from times past. 

When all the faces started melting away into intoxicated jello it all swirled into a pinpoint. 

Shiny & Stretched Tight

A leather recliner at the foot of where I lay bound on a pile of fur amongst piles of similar, yet different materials.  Many hanging in lines around the room shiny and stretched tight.  Obviously all the shock brought on from lack of light had taken toll because it seemed like bodies waved like flags off these oversized clotheslines.

Endless Stream Of Blinding Smoke

Fighting for control my body panicked, wiggled so hard that energy came screaming out my mouth “Dad”.  Afterward wailing out of control like a little girl as boys sometimes do unintentionally when a figure appeared  “Yes son” shutting me up with a thick puff of sweet smelling gar smoke in my face.  In an endless stream blinding smoke in my eyes.  Still not ready to accept this reality albeit no other to base anything on my gut forced the screeching big mouthed cry to restart.  

Protest Silenced

Laughing out loud echoed in my ears as that big hand now cold rubbed my throat which let out one long hoot “You aren’t my Dadddd”.  On inhale it was insured my protest was silenced as my lungs choked out cigar smoke methodically with force fed into my gasping breath.  It was a week before my eyes saw any light again.

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